


A Burden To Bare

by susiephalange



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dwarf!Reader, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Female!Reader - Freeform, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:00:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susiephalange/pseuds/susiephalange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin is distant after the Battle of Five Armies, understandably so. But it leads to a dreaded feeling of neglect, and maybe his Queen has had enough of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Burden To Bare

After the battle he narrowly won, your husband the King of Erebor hadn't been the same as before. The gold sickness had passed, and with the restoration of the Lonely Mountain to the way Thorin's predecessors had it, it couldn't have been any better. But, as much as Thorin smiled with Kili and Fili's pranks on his good friends Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, there was one thing that hadn't improved.

He barely slept. Ate. Spoke to you.

Before the battle, before the quest, Thorin had slept peacefully in your arms, waking to tell you of dreams of hope and the future. But nowadays he thrashed so much whilst unconscious that to stay safe from his unmeasurable strength, you slept in another cot. When Thorin woke, he'd mutter about war and loss, but never to you.

He'd only speak properly to Balin, and even then, would ignore anything he didn't find savoury. You could only guess he felt the effects of war harder than most - but you wouldn't know. Your own husband would barely speak to you anymore. You felt unloved, unlovable, but primarily, unable to love the dwarf who you had once known better than yourself.

This continued for many weeks, then months; dust gathered on your nightstand from your old side of the bed, and the words spoken between the pair of you lessened to the point where you could count them on your hands. So, you did what any sane dwarf would do in dire need - and that was approach Balin.

The elderly dwarf sat at a desk, writing a tome with an elegant quill when you intruded into his domain.

"Mr Balin, may - may I have a word with you?" You broke his silent reverie, your voice cracking slightly when you spoke. "If that's okay."

"_________, I haven't seen you in a long time, yes - do come in! Take a seat, yes, it's okay, I'm just writing nonsense. Now, what's your ailment, child?" The dwarf smiled wanly. You could tell he already knew the problem.

"I feel Thorin doesn't care for me anymore. I try to be near him, to make him feel lighter a burden from the war, yet he never speaks to me. I - has he told you if he hates me?" You pleaded.

The elder dwarf frowned. "No, _________, not at all, I don't believe that's true - it can't be true...I won't believe it to be true. Thorin is a good man. And he loves you, I see it in him."

You glanced to your shoes. "He dreams horrible dreams and never shares the woes. I am a useless wife, I know, and I know this means he hates me. What else?"

"What else, what?"

You turned sharply to see your husband silhouetted in the doorway after hearing his familiar gravelly voice. He looked gaunt and tired, his beard still bold but not as much as before. You could see his eyes needed sleep.

"Just discussing the upcoming ball you are hosting for the official homecoming to Erebor, to finally celebrate it. Speaking of ideas to use a lanterns or another device to illuminate the ballroom."

"Lanterns," you echoed. You realised the awkwardness in the air when you suddenly understood Thorin had come to speak to Balin rather than seek your company. "I must be off," Rising from the seat, you hurried past Thorin, only to have him catch your arm.

"_______," he murmured.

"I can see you are busy, I will leave you be." you replied stiffly, and shaking off his grip, were on your way. As you hurried off, you swore you heard him say there was no talk of lanterns.

That evening, you couldn't bare it any longer. The memory of his loving touch was distant, and you longed to feel the mountainside underfoot, taste the breeze. So, donning a travelling cape - it was the cold season, you decided on it to remain warm - you made your way to the entrance of the Lonely Mountain.

"Good evening, Aunt ________," you turned to regard your nephew Fili as he stepped out from the shadows. "Where are you off to? It's late."

You smiled kindly, and looked to your nephew in his bright eyes. "Just a quick walk, I need some air. It seemed this mountain has none at the best of times." you paused, noticing the lack of appearance of his brother, "Where is your brother, Kili?"

Fili shrugged. "I suspect with the she-elf, he never speaks of anything else." he glanced to the floor, as if remembering something. "I must be off, I have a business I need to attend to."

You nodded, and turning to continue on your way, spoke, "I shall see you, then."

As soon as you stepped ou of the magnificent entrance of the Lonely Mountain, you felt the wind whip your hair and tug at your cloak and almost blow the life back into your lungs that had been dormant since the revival of the mountain, of Thorin.

You walked down the path a way, and sitting on the other side of a large obelisk-like rock, removed your shoes to feel the gritty earth between your toes. It had been many, many months since you had done that. You felt good, breathing the fresh air. It felt good to taste the breeze.

"________! My Queen, _______, don't leave me! Don't leave!"

You stilled at the anguished voice of your husband. Leave me?

"No - no!" He cried, is voice breaking in desperation. He whimpered, and in an undertone, wept, "She's - she's gone, oh no, she's gone, what have I done? She's gone and -," you turned, and saw on the other side a sobbing Thorin, reduced to tears and on his knees. "_______, my beloved ______, I am sorry. I failed you."

As you made to stand, the rocks under your feet crunched heartily, and the teary bearded face of your husband King Thorin whipped up.

"_________? You - you returned?"

You frowned, and lowering yourself to his level, confessed, confused, "I never left."

"Then why are you in this cloak? And why did Fili speak of you walking away, biding him farewell? And with Balin, I know, I overheard that you said you thought I hated you -,"

You interrupted with a kiss, wrapping your arms around your husbands shoulders, doing the best you could to kiss the pain and the upset from his system.

As the pair of you gasped for air, he murmured, "I thought I lost you,"

"You almost would have," you replied truthfully. "Please, Thorin, let me in when the weight of these thoughts ail you. I am your wife, any burden of yours is a burden of mine to help bare."

And in that moment, with your foreheads against each other's, it was okay. And you knew it would be okay for always.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if I made you cry! 
> 
> If you have any requests, find me on Tumblr at @susiephalange, or [@phalangewrites](https://phalangewrites.tumblr.com/request_conditions) ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ✿


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